Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Many thoughts!

In the last few days, I have been bombarded with thoughts. Many different topics have entered my mind during this time. My faith being the most prominent one. The past few months have been very trying for us as a family, and without God's help, I honestly don't think I would have made it through those times. And I owe a HUGE Thanks to a great friend of mine who has a genuine love for Jesus and is a great witness for Him, who has been talking with me and praying for me. Thank You Candace!
So, I dusted off my bible the other night, after talking to my friend and reading the Blog of someone else who is On Fire for God, and let me tell you, it felt so good to sit and read, and pray and just talk to God. I'm so glad He never gives up on us! I'm especially glad he never gave up on me! When I woke up the next morning, my first though while climbing out of bed was "Thank You Jesus."
I've also been listening to a lot of Contemporary Christian music on this awesome site called Pandoraradio.com. All you have to do is go there sign up which only takes a minute and is FREE! Then you can just type in the name of any artist you want to listen to music from, and they have it all! They then create your own personal station based on the artist you typed in. That station only plays music from that artist and others similar to them. I love it! I have been listening to some music that really tugs at my heart strings, and really makes me think!
I'm far from being a "Good Christian" but I'm trying, and praying and asking God to walk with me and lead me to where he wants me to be. The most difficult part is that my husband is Not a Christian. He shuts down when I try to talk to him about God. He's been hurt a lot in life and he doesn't get how or why if this God we talk about is so great, does he let so many suffer in so many ways. For a while, I too was angry and wondered the same things of God. When I lost the baby, just over 2 months ago, I was angry and hurting in a way I can not even describe, and I wondered what I had done to God to make him put me through this. Although, it is still painful at times, I know God didn't let this happen to hurt me. I think He meant it as a learning experience and maybe a wake up call to bring me back to what I know to be right and true, HIM.
Well, I still have so many thoughts in my head that I cannot possibly put together in a way that would make any sense right now, So, I think I'll go for tonight.

Friday, January 16, 2009

And the award goes to...

My blog got it's first award! Thanks to Candace (http://cestmoicm.blogspot.com) my blog received the Honest Scrap award! Now I have to first write ten honest things about myself and then pass this award on to seven people who I think are honest scrappers.

1) I fall asleep almost every time I start to watch a movie!
2) I hate seafood of all kinds... except tuna!
3) I love to sing and think I'm pretty good, but I have horrible stage fright.
4) I was a contestant in the miss Teen ALF pageant when I was 16.
5) I drink Milk from the jug.
6) I have collected Barbies since I was about 14.
7) I feel things very deeply and cry easily.
8) I take Chase to bed with me if Jake is staying up, so I'm not alone.
9) I despise washing Dishes and they almost always pile up till Jake does them.
10) The only thing I have ever been sure I wanted to be when I grew up is a... Mommy

Now I get to award this to seven people who I believe are worthy of the Honest Scrap award:
1) Allie~ http://alliefortworth.blogspot.com/
2) Ria~ http://mariabrownsblog.blogspot.com/
3) Noelle~ http://noellescraps.blogspot.com/
4) Chelle~ http://blog.jmlamb.net/chelle/
5) Dawn~ http://dawnylovestoscrap.blogspot.com/
6) Sarah~ http://papertree.blogspot.com/
7)Melissa~ http://northernmemories-melissa.blogspot.com/

Monday, January 12, 2009

Snow is fun!

Yesterday, I took Chase over to my brother's house to play in the snow with my nephews. We had a lot of fun...
We took Chase's excavating equipment (backhoe and front loader) over and had fun digging in the snow with it.

I had decided to make a snow angel, so I laid down on the ground. As I was lying there trying to make my angel, Chase decided he wanted to bury me in the snow. I thought this might be fun and he and my nephews began to pile snow on top of me. All I asked was that they not throw the snow in my face. Everything was going fine for a while and then they started throwing snow on my face and I decided I was done playing that game... however, I was partially buried in the snow, so I had to have my 9 year old nephew help me up out of the snow...there was lots of it too, almost a foot! I'll bet that was a sight to see!

All in all, we had a good time. Chase had a great time frolicking in the snow even though it is nearly a foot deep! It had a slight crust of ice over it, so even if you broke through, your foot never went completely to the ground. He would have had a very difficult time walking if the snow wasn't packing under our feet. Here are a few more pics of the fun he had.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Snowed in...Time to be creative!

Guess what!!! It snowed last night... and this morning, and this afternoon. As a matter of fact, it is still snowing! We probably have about 10 inches out there... it is so pretty... except on the roads!
This picture was taken just after I got up this morning around 9 am. Jake went out around 10:30 to shovel. He has shoveled 3 times today, shoveling approximately 3-4 inches each time! I was supposed to be at work at 1, but the roads were terrible. So I called in and let them know that I wasn't going to be able to get there. The tires on our car aren't too great on snow and I spun the car around twice last winter, so I'm just a little worried about driving on roads this bad now. It never used to bother me until then. Jake had to drive 1/2 a mile to the store to get cigarettes and he got the car stuck in the parking lot at the store. It hadn't been plowed yet. Heck, the roads haven't been plowed much either. The snow has just kept coming down, extremely heavy at times, making t
he roads very difficult to navigate. It is beautiful and pure and I'm just amazed at how something so beautiful can be so dangerous at the same time. Here is another picture of the snow, after some snow had been plowed and shoveled, but it was coming down faster than people can clear it.

And since I'm snowed in, I decided to finally get around to altering my computer case. I used Glitz Rub ons and I think it's pretty... and girly. My brother will be horrified when he sees it. He gave me this PC and he'll just think it's silly that I put girly stuff on it. I didn't do a whole lot, because of the way the case is shaped and where the air vents are, but I think it's neat. Here are a few pics.They
are of the side of the case. It's just clear plexiglass, so I decided it needed to be prettied up a bit. Hope you enjoy!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

12 Wishes for 2009

So, if you ready my post on New Years Eve, about the traditions, you'll understand this, if not, you may be confused, but oh well, it happens to the best of us! Did you make any New Years Resolutions?? I didn't! I never keep them, so I figure why bother.
I did however partake in a few of the traditions, the main one being the 12 grapes and 12 wishes. At about 10 minutes to Midnight I got out my grapes and started making wishes as I ate them 1 by one. Just when Midnight arrived, I made my last wish. I'm not the kind of girl to ask for much, or even "wish" for things, so I had a hard time trying to think about 12 things that I wanted... I just want happiness and healing, and I could only think of one thing that would help me attain that goal, so I wished for another baby. Does it still work if you wish for the same thing 12 times??? Over and over I wished for a baby.
I have wanted more children for a long time now. Chase just turned 4, at the rate we've been going, he'll be 7 or 8 before we have another baby... if we ever do. Since our loss in November, I've had a much darker outlook on life. It changed who I am. I'm still kind, sweet, little, Shannon, but I'm much more pessimistic too. I used to believe anything was possible. Not anymore. At least when it comes to us and our fertility issues. I hope and pray and try to keep my chin up, but the pain has sometimes threatened to overwhelm me. So, I'm hoping that Wishes do Come true!

I scrapped a Layout about my 12 wishes today for the Sassy Blinging Babes Weekly Challenge. I had know idea how emotional it would be for me to create a LO about my wishes. It even brought tears to my eyes a few times during the process.

Friday, January 2, 2009

RAK Giveaway!

Kate Blue is giving away 4 RAKS on her blog. Just go here http://www.kateblue.blogspot.com/ and check out her blog. Then go to your blog and post a blog telling all your friends where they can win a RAK. After you've done that, go back to Kate's blog and post the link to where she can see that you spread the word about her giveaway. Go check it out!!! She's drawing names Sunday the 4th, so hurry and sign up!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Too quiet!

It's entirely too quiet in my house right now! Chase is sleeping, Jake is playing PS3, and I'm sitting at my desk scrapping. I have music on, but it doesn't keep my mind from wandering. I've scrapped 3 pages today, that's almost a record for me. usually it takes me HOURS to just finish one page. We also went to town to do a little shopping. We got Chase a new winter coat, because he's growing out of his, and Jake used his gift card from his mom. He got a cool new set of Headphones and 2 pairs of jeans. He needed new ones bad! Chase loves his new coat so much that he put it on when he laid down on the couch to take a nap. LOL

Of course, my mind wandering is never a good thing. It often ends in me crying about something or other. I'm a very sensitive person, not to mention that I'm BiPolar... Diagnosed at age 18. I'm sure it would help me to go to Therapy and/or be back on meds, but I hated the way I felt when I was on meds. I haven't taken anything for my depression in almost 9 years, and I really don't want to start again. I've always thought that I could handle it on my own, but it's been so much harder this year than it ever has, and I'm struggling. I just keep praying and hoping thst God will help me through all this. On occasion, I even start to get angry at God, asking why he would let some of these things happen to me. I know that He never gives us more than we can handle, and that during thise times we think he has left us, he's there carrying us. Although it is hard to believe at times.