In the last few days, I have been bombarded with thoughts. Many different topics have entered my mind during this time. My faith being the most prominent one. The past few months have been very trying for us as a family, and without God's help, I honestly don't think I would have made it through those times. And I owe a HUGE Thanks to a great friend of mine who has a genuine love for Jesus and is a great witness for Him, who has been talking with me and praying for me. Thank You Candace!
So, I dusted off my bible the other night, after talking to my friend and reading the Blog of someone else who is On Fire for God, and let me tell you, it felt so good to sit and read, and pray and just talk to God. I'm so glad He never gives up on us! I'm especially glad he never gave up on me! When I woke up the next morning, my first though while climbing out of bed was "Thank You Jesus."
I've also been listening to a lot of Contemporary Christian music on this awesome site called Pandoraradio.com. All you have to do is go there sign up which only takes a minute and is FREE! Then you can just type in the name of any artist you want to listen to music from, and they have it all! They then create your own personal station based on the artist you typed in. That station only plays music from that artist and others similar to them. I love it! I have been listening to some music that really tugs at my heart strings, and really makes me think!
I'm far from being a "Good Christian" but I'm trying, and praying and asking God to walk with me and lead me to where he wants me to be. The most difficult part is that my husband is Not a Christian. He shuts down when I try to talk to him about God. He's been hurt a lot in life and he doesn't get how or why if this God we talk about is so great, does he let so many suffer in so many ways. For a while, I too was angry and wondered the same things of God. When I lost the baby, just over 2 months ago, I was angry and hurting in a way I can not even describe, and I wondered what I had done to God to make him put me through this. Although, it is still painful at times, I know God didn't let this happen to hurt me. I think He meant it as a learning experience and maybe a wake up call to bring me back to what I know to be right and true, HIM.
Well, I still have so many thoughts in my head that I cannot possibly put together in a way that would make any sense right now, So, I think I'll go for tonight.
5 days ago