Thursday, January 1, 2009

Too quiet!

It's entirely too quiet in my house right now! Chase is sleeping, Jake is playing PS3, and I'm sitting at my desk scrapping. I have music on, but it doesn't keep my mind from wandering. I've scrapped 3 pages today, that's almost a record for me. usually it takes me HOURS to just finish one page. We also went to town to do a little shopping. We got Chase a new winter coat, because he's growing out of his, and Jake used his gift card from his mom. He got a cool new set of Headphones and 2 pairs of jeans. He needed new ones bad! Chase loves his new coat so much that he put it on when he laid down on the couch to take a nap. LOL

Of course, my mind wandering is never a good thing. It often ends in me crying about something or other. I'm a very sensitive person, not to mention that I'm BiPolar... Diagnosed at age 18. I'm sure it would help me to go to Therapy and/or be back on meds, but I hated the way I felt when I was on meds. I haven't taken anything for my depression in almost 9 years, and I really don't want to start again. I've always thought that I could handle it on my own, but it's been so much harder this year than it ever has, and I'm struggling. I just keep praying and hoping thst God will help me through all this. On occasion, I even start to get angry at God, asking why he would let some of these things happen to me. I know that He never gives us more than we can handle, and that during thise times we think he has left us, he's there carrying us. Although it is hard to believe at times.

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